A Soft and Painless Drifting
by Penelope Wendy Bing
Summary: Rue's final thoughts and goodbyes to those she loves, and those that love her.


**A/N**- I do not own Rue or the Hunger Games. Also, a thank you to my beta, LoveTheBoyWithTheBread. I'd also love it if you guys could check out the 2010 Summer Hunger Games Fanfiction Awards. Check out the forum or drop me a PM to nominate your favorite stories. Thank you.

Great things don't need to be expensive or big. I know, Momma, because you gave me so many great things and we barely had enough money to keep us all fed. Actually, we didn't have enough. I had to take tesserae. I know how guilty you feel about that, Momma. You were in tears when we said goodbye. You blame yourself. But it isn't your fault. You never wanted your children to have to put themselves in danger. You never wanted this to happen to me. You gave me my life, and it's not your fault that they're taking it away, Momma. You did everything you could to make my life happy with the little we had. Goodbye. I will always love you.

Oh, I'm going to miss you, Daddy. I'm going to miss your big smile after coming home from work every day. I'm going to miss you picking me up and spinning me around. I'm going to miss you teasing me about the fact that I'm still tiny enough for you to pick me up and spin me even after twelve years. Oh, gosh. There I go, Daddy. I'm crying now. I'm sorry. I'm trying not to, because I don't want you to feel any sadder than you do already. But I can't help it. It hurts knowing that I'm going to leave you behind. Your laugh, the feeling of your big rough hands on my shoulders, it's all so precious to me. It was those little things that showed how much you loved me. And I know you knew how much I loved you. So let's not be sad, okay?

Only you can help Daddy and Momma, Kile. The others are still too little. But you're almost as old as me. You'll have your first reaping next year. And you have to be brave. Not just at the reaping, always. You're going to need to help them with the others. They're only going to have you to look up to now. And they've got a good role model. I'm so proud of you, Kile. Even though we used to fight sometimes. Even though I complained to my friends about "my annoying little brother". I believe in you. You're going to be such a good person. I'm glad that it could be me who has to go instead of you, because seeing you be hurt would be so much worse than this. And don't worry, it's not as bad as it looks. It doesn't hurt at all anymore. You can't let anything hurt you anymore either. I'll see you, Kile. And I love you.

Doriz, Leela, you guys were what kept me smiling. Everything you did just made me happy and made me laugh. Doriz, you were always so serious. It was funny to see you next to Leela. You looked exactly the same except for the expression on your faces. I don't think you know how much your frowns and grumpy comments made me happy. And Leela, you put the bounce in my step. You always had so much energy. I love you two. Even in here all I had to do was think about you guys and it made me okay with going on. You saved me in the most important way. You gave me joy. I don't think that wherever I'm going after this will make me smile as much as I used to, if you two aren't there. I'm going to miss you, but I need to go soon. You two need to keep making everyone smile. They're going to need you.

Beautiful. You're beautiful, Lenri. I guess that's kind of a weird thing to say to a boy, but it's the truth. Everything about you do is so pure and joyful. Maybe you're too young to understand how much that matters. You're only six. But we live in a really hard world. Seeing someone like you who can just find the beauty in everything is the only thing that can make home seem like it has hope. Don't get me wrong, I loved home. I still love it. But when you would point out how funny a caterpillar was or spend hours telling me about what a lovely day you'd had, it brought out the beauty in everything. And you're so beautiful too, more than maybe you'll ever know.

You may not even remember me by the time you're my age, Clista. I hope you do, because I will never forget you. I could never forget any of my sisters. But you barely speak in real sentences yet, so maybe you don't really understand. Well, I'm leaving, Clista. I'm going to go away for a long time. But don't be scared. It's not too bad, really. It's like I'm just sort of floating away, like those birdies you love. You love me too, right? You're not too young to love me? Please, love me. I need love now.

Even though I only really knew you for a couple of days, Katniss, you changed my life. You're still changing it, now, here. As you sing to me about meadows and willows and sweet dreams that come true, you're changing it. I can feel the corners of my mouth turn up softly. People may think that you're just a brave person who looks at the world with steel and manages not to feel. But that's not the truth. You're so kind. I can see it in the tears in your eyes. And your song...it's beautiful. And it's true beauty. You don't sing anymore. Not very much. I hope that changes. I hope you sing again, Katniss, because the world needs this. It needs this kind of beauty filled with love, sadness, and this feeling of not being alone anymore. Even as I'm drifting away from you, you're as here as you could possibly be. You gave me a gift that I will never be able to give back. But I feel like that's okay. All of you have touched me so much more then you could understand. I think I've touched you too. And that's enough.


End file.
